Mr. Stuart's Request

Well, John Stuart asked for some info about how this whole international, cross-cultural marriage things works so I thought I'd say a few words....

Overall, things between Trash and I are good and not nearly as difficult as you may assume. Of course, she is not your average Korean. She was born for Western Culture. For the most part, growing up Korean has just made her more polite than most Westerners. When it comes down to it, we both grew up attending church, hanging out with friends, listening to punk rock and playing in bands. It's not that different. Sometimes there are some conflicts that arise. Trash is just Korean enough that many times she will agree with me when she doesn't want to and keeps her feelings bottled up inside. Korean men generally don't want to know what their respective others are thinking, and the women have learned to deal with that. However, Trash is also Westernized enough that over a period of time, holding everything in will cause her to flip out a little whereas most Korean woman have accepted it as part of life. We're working on that though. I think it's just hard for her to get used to the idea that my mom taught me to care about the feelings and thoughts of the woman I'm with.

The issues with her family are a little bigger. They are also a pretty progressive family. Trash had never seen her mom shakes somebody's hand before we started dating (that's right, they still bow in Korea), but her mom understood that my culture is different, and the first time we met she shook my hand. Me being a foreigner was never an issue either, which is VERY different from most Korean households. Unfortunately, her mom hardly speaks any English at all, and my Korean is very poor. Some may see that as part of the American Dream. I have a mother-in-law who can't talk to me! Haha. In some cases, that would be preferable, but my mother-in-law is pretty cool, and I really wish I could have a normal conversation with her. All of our talking goes through our interpreter, Trash. Her brother and sister speak more English than her mom, but they are still pretty self-conscious about speaking in English to a native speaker so while conversation with them is better, it's still slightly belabored.

The biggest hassle has been with the Government. Trash and I have finally finished filing all of our paperwork, and I am officially a resident of Korea. I have a new Visa (I changed from an E2 working visa to an F2 spousal visa), and with it, comes more freedom and rights. I am no longer an indentured servant to my school and can take/quit any job that I want without notifying anyone. It's great to finally be at that point.

I'm sure we will find more differences in our cultural upbringings in the coming year, but thus far, we have overcome all the differences we have found. I don't see that changing.

Updates

It's been a while since I wrote anything so I thought I'd make a quick post. Things are going well, overall, in Korea. I've been spending a lot of time with Trash and her family which has been nice. I even spent a Friday night at their house making kimchi. Wedding plans are coming together, and February 28th is quickly approaching. I'm very happy that Ric will officially be traveling to Korea to be my best man. Also, we have officially set the date for our reception in Pennsylvania. It will be at my parents church, Morning Star Fellowship, on March 15th. We'll be arriving in PA the day before the wedding and staying for 2 weeks after. I'm really looking forward to that. We've set up a webpage for people to check out and get all the info they need concerning our wedding. That's about it for now.

Jeff and Trash's Wedding Page

Wedding Website

Trash and I officially have a website for our wedding and receptions. Check it out and sign up for the mailing list. That way it will be easy to keep everyone up to date.

www.ewedding.com/sites/mosesyang

The Date is Set

It's official. Trash and I will be getting married February 28, 2009.

She's a Rocker! She's a Roller Too Baby!

Trash's band, BBLT, hasn't played in about 3 months because their drummer had back surgery. They've been big in Seoul for about 8 years so, being that she's the hot chick from one of the longer-lasting local punk bands and super cool, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, knows Trash. We can't go anywhere without people saying hi. Recently, two other bands, Sweet Guerillaz, and Vicious Glare, each asked her to do guest vocals on a track on their new album (the studio track with Sweet Guerillaz can be heard on their myspace page linked above). After the albums were released, the bands toured around Korea together. Last weekend was the last show of the tour, and they asked Trash to sing the stuff she recorded with them so of course I videoed it. So here they are, videos of my fiancee doing guest vocals with a punk rock band and a hardcore band. Yup, she's a bad ass.

Trash with Sweet Guerillaz:


Trash with Vicious Glare:

Batman Strikes Apgujeong

A lot of things have happened lately, and I was too lazy to post about them, but I wanted to make sure I got this one up. Tomorrow is our school's Fall Festival. We got our costumes today, and I had one of my best ideas in a while. We decided to get some extra mileage out of the rental costumes. We hung around town for a little while, and then, rode the subway home....in costume. It was pretty fun, especially since I work in what most Koreans consider the Beverly Hills of Korea. We got some pretty fun looks. Check out the pictures at the link below......

Click Me For Pictures

Fame and Fortune

Choi Jin-Sil

From today's edition of The Korea Herald:

"Autopsy Suggests Actress Hanged Self

Police yesterday provisionally concluded Choi Jin-sil, the nation's long-adored iconic actress "impulsively" committed suicide Thursday, based on evidence from a preliminary autopsy finding, her diary, mobile phone records and statements from her family and close associates.

"The National Institute of Scientific Investigation's preliminary autopsy results show that she hanged herself, and all evidence we have gathered so far indicates she killed herself on the spur of the moment," said an official at the Seocho Police Station.

Following the initial autopsy conducted Thursday night, the state coroner said that Choi strangled herself, and that there were no signs of foul play as no external wounds were discovered. It will take about two weeks to verify whether her death resulted from an intake of drugs or other substances, the coroner said.

The 39-year-old actress, whose stellar career spanned the last two decades, was found hanging in the shower stall in her residence in Seoul with a bandage tightened around her neck at around 6:15 a.m. Thursday.

Choi is said to have seriously agonized over what she contended were baseless rumors, which began circulating after the alleged suicide of Ahn Jae-hwan. Ahn, 36, another much-beloved actor, was faltering under snowballing debts from his moribund businesses. Choi was rumored to have lent a considerable amount of money to Ahn and pressured him to repay her.

Choi had frequently expressed suicidal thoughts days before her death, even saying that she preferred to be cremated and spread over a mountain, according to the police.

"Choi told her manager the night before her death that she felt extremely frustrated that she might not be able to attend her children's sports meeting Friday (because of the public perception against her amid the rumors)," an investigator said.

On Tuesday, Choi wept hard the whole night following the telephone conversation with the suspect charged with having spread the rumors on the internet, the police said. The next day, Choi went out for shooting for a pharmaceuticals commercial, but failed to finish it because her face was swollen due to lack of sleep and her crying the previous night.

Choi, then, drank with the head of her entertainment company, and told him that she would retire and wished to die, police said. On the day of her death, Choi briefly talked with a women-magazine reporter over the phone, saying, "This may be the last talk with you, and please carefully watch my kids growing up."

She had a son and a daughter, aged seven and five, respectively, from her ill-fated marriage with former pro baseball player Cho Sung-min.

Investigators are also looking into her diary, where she detailed her daily battles with living as a public figure struggling to maintain her star status in the midst of a series of false accusations.

"I am a loner and social outcast, and I felt choked," she was quoted by the police as saying in her diary.

Police have found no evidence yet regarding the rumors that Choi was a loan shark.

"At this point of time, no evidence has emerged about the allegations that Choi operated a private loan business," said an investigator.

"We also investigated the phone records of Ahn and other related people, and found nothing related to Choi."

The official said that there will not be any further inquiry into the authenticity of the allegation. Currently, police are investigating a securities firm employee who was booked late last month on charges of having spread the rumors.

The death of Choi has added to the recent calls to devise stern measures against cyberspace libel. The government and the ruling Grand National Party have been pushing for such measures, while critics have denounced them, citing the possibility of hampering freedom of expression.

Choi will be cremated this morning in Seongnam, Gyeonggi Province. The burial is set to be held in a cemetery in Yangsuri, Gyeonggi Province.

By Song Sang-ho
(sshluck@heraldm.com)
2008.10.04"

Both of her kids attend my school. Her daughter is in the room next to mine. My friend Chris is her teacher. I talked to her and played with her the day before her mom died. It's such a sad thing that this happened. I can't imagine what is happening in those 5 and 7 year old minds. It also goes to show that money and fame are not all they're cracked up to be. Choi Jin-sil was one of Korea's most beloved actresses and a good mom. Everyone in this country knew her, and she was about as rich as anyone could hope to be. But in the end, those things drove her to the edge and right over it. So sad. Please pray for her children.