American Thanksgiving

I know this is almost a month late, but I thought I'd would put up a blog about Thanksgiving. Korean Thanksgiving (Chuseok) is in September, but I just can't ignore American Thanksgiving. Last year, we had a potluck dinner at Brad and Steph's apartment with the whole EG crew the Saturday after. This year, I decided to do Thanksgiving on the proper day at my apartment. I invited Trash and her whole family over along with Pastor Robert and Jenny. I made the whole spread just like Mom would at home. Mashed potatoes, bread filling, candied sweet potatoes, corn and bread. I also made some gravy. I had to have my mom send gravy mix from home. This was actually the first time Trash and her family had ever heard of, seen or tasted gravy. It just doesn't exist in Korea....They all loved it. The main difference from home, there was no turkey. Just like last year, we bought some rotisserie chickens from a street vendor. It was delicious. We also appeased the Koreans with rice and kimchi ;)

We had a great night. There was good conversation, and Trash's family and my parents met for the first time....via Skype. I thoroughly enjoyed this holiday away from home :)

Preparing the Feast

The Table is Set

Enjoying the Meal

(Trash, her mom, brother, sister, Jenny and Pastor Robert)

Mr. Stuart's Request

Well, John Stuart asked for some info about how this whole international, cross-cultural marriage things works so I thought I'd say a few words....

Overall, things between Trash and I are good and not nearly as difficult as you may assume. Of course, she is not your average Korean. She was born for Western Culture. For the most part, growing up Korean has just made her more polite than most Westerners. When it comes down to it, we both grew up attending church, hanging out with friends, listening to punk rock and playing in bands. It's not that different. Sometimes there are some conflicts that arise. Trash is just Korean enough that many times she will agree with me when she doesn't want to and keeps her feelings bottled up inside. Korean men generally don't want to know what their respective others are thinking, and the women have learned to deal with that. However, Trash is also Westernized enough that over a period of time, holding everything in will cause her to flip out a little whereas most Korean woman have accepted it as part of life. We're working on that though. I think it's just hard for her to get used to the idea that my mom taught me to care about the feelings and thoughts of the woman I'm with.

The issues with her family are a little bigger. They are also a pretty progressive family. Trash had never seen her mom shakes somebody's hand before we started dating (that's right, they still bow in Korea), but her mom understood that my culture is different, and the first time we met she shook my hand. Me being a foreigner was never an issue either, which is VERY different from most Korean households. Unfortunately, her mom hardly speaks any English at all, and my Korean is very poor. Some may see that as part of the American Dream. I have a mother-in-law who can't talk to me! Haha. In some cases, that would be preferable, but my mother-in-law is pretty cool, and I really wish I could have a normal conversation with her. All of our talking goes through our interpreter, Trash. Her brother and sister speak more English than her mom, but they are still pretty self-conscious about speaking in English to a native speaker so while conversation with them is better, it's still slightly belabored.

The biggest hassle has been with the Government. Trash and I have finally finished filing all of our paperwork, and I am officially a resident of Korea. I have a new Visa (I changed from an E2 working visa to an F2 spousal visa), and with it, comes more freedom and rights. I am no longer an indentured servant to my school and can take/quit any job that I want without notifying anyone. It's great to finally be at that point.

I'm sure we will find more differences in our cultural upbringings in the coming year, but thus far, we have overcome all the differences we have found. I don't see that changing.