Teaching with Barbie, Vol. 1

Yes, my Korean co-teacher's English name is Barbie...and she lives up to every expectation. We've been working together for almost 8 months, and I thought I would put up some of our more memorable conversations. It should be noted that these conversations are not word-for-word as I didn't write them down immediately afterward. However, they have not been sensationalized at all....and I guarantee Barbie's grammar was much, much, MUCH worse :)

I came in to find Barbie closely studying one of our 2nd grade reading books....
Barbie: Can you explain this to me? I don't understand.
Quote from the book: "Of course, the most well-known of all the big cats are the lion and tiger."
Me: What don't you understand?
Barbie: What does it mean?
Me: Well, it means there are a lot of big cats, lions, tigers, panthers, cheetahs, but if you ask a kid to name one, they'll probably says "lion" or "tiger."
Barbie: But why do they call them big cats?
Me: Because that's what they are. They're cats. They're big.
Barbie: They're not cats. Your pet at home is a cat.
Me: Well, that's a house cat, but they're all part of the cat family.
Barbie: Cats have families?!?!

Last Monday afternoon while I was preparing for classes....
Barbie: This weekend I saw a documentary called 2012. It really scared me. It said the world is going to end in 2012.
Me: Barbie, that's not a documentary. It's a movie.
Barbie: No, it wasn't that movie. It was different. It was a documentary. I didn't believe it at first either, but it was really scary, and it convinced me. They gave scientific evidence that it's true.
Me: Barbie, you can make anything sound scientific. The whole thing is based on the idea that the Mayan calendar ends in 2012. You'd have to be pretty stupid to think that all that was real.
Barbie: I told you, I didn't believe it at first either, but they had scientists, Jeff. SCIENTISTS!

While walking out of school at the end of the day....
Barbie: Use some of my hand sanitizer. It will protect you from the Swine Flu.
Me: You realize that your hands are actually covered with good bacteria that help fight off the sickness. That anti-bacterial sanitizer you're using kills good AND bad bacteria, and since you're not actually washing your hands, it leaves all the dead bacteria on your hands. Swine Flu is a virus so you're basically killing your first line of defense and leaving the Swine Flu virus unaffected on your skin. Technically speaking, you're making yourself more susceptible to Swine Flu.
Barbie: Okay. So here, have some of my hand sanitizer.

More to come....