High and Low

Today had an obvious high point. I woke up early to go to Apgujeong (known as the Beverly Hills of Seoul) for a job interview. It went great, and I was offered a position at The Little School. Starting in March, I will have my own group of six year olds at a Christian Pre-School :) Yup. You heard it right folks. The guy who always pokes fun at Elementary Education majors and gave his former boss an especially hard time for being "so el. ed." is now a Kindergarten teacher. It's cool though. I'd never want to be El.Ed. at home, but it's great over here. Plus, I get a raise and am moving to the center of Downtown Seoul. I'll be working a normal 9-5 schedule too so I'll actually be able to have a normal life and hang out with people.

The obvious low came a few hours later when my middle school students came to academy. Ah, middle school students...how I loathe apathy is ways that words can simply not express. It'll all be over in less than 4 months, but it's gonna be hard to stay motivated knowing how much fun my new job is going to be.

On another note, I came awfully close to feeling a little of "it" today. For those of you who have never worked in the camping industry, campers are never "homesick." They merely have "it," "the sickness," or "the disease" because once you use the word "homesick" life is over and the condition spreads like wildfire. Now, I'm not homesick, but I got that unmistakable feeling that I wanted to be at Spruce Lake.

Many of you know the exact feeling I'm talking about and how hard it is to shake it. I left school tonight at 11pm in my heavy cargo pants and Millersville Univ. fleece listening to Ben Folds on my iPod. The moment I hit the cold air outside, I seriously had to stand still and look around. I just felt like I was walking home from Outdoor Ed.

Just the other day, I was telling JoAnn and Lara that while this weather makes them miss SoCal (because they're so flippin' cold), it makes me miss home for completely different reasons. Don't get me wrong. I love Wilderness Camp. I have always lived for the summers there, but there was something special about the fall. Camp would end, and I'd be so stressed out after a summer of dealing with everything. I'd go on vacation to unwind a little, but there was always a moment around the 1st or 2nd week of October that was so perfect. It usually involved me sitting on the roof of my apartment or on the step outside my door (which is basically the roof too) where I'd be sitting there in the cold staring at the brilliant stars. All of a sudden, I'd feel completely relaxed and realize that I wasn't stressed out anymore. I wouldn't be able to stop smiling and would feel more content that I ever remember feeling at any other time in my life. This is the first time in three years I'm not going to get to have that moment.

I made sitting on my roof for at least a few minutes, sometimes an hour or more, a nightly routine. I miss that apartment. I miss those stars. I know leaving camp was the right decision, but sometimes I really miss it. Tonight, I got done work stressed about my middle schoolers but thankful for the blessing of my new job, and all I wanted to do was go to the ball field, slide in my mummy bag, lay on my back, and stare at the milky way until I passed out. That would've been the perfect end to the day.

I miss checking my email in the Wilderness Camp Office after lunch and getting my daily updates/moments of wisdom from Kent. I miss hanging out with Richard and Jesse. I miss the smell of the Pavilion on a cold night after it rains. I miss those moments where you know that camp is, beyond a doubt, exactly where God wants you to be at that moment. I don't think I'll ever stop missing Spruce Lake. I lost a little bit of that "awe" living there for three years, but I know the next time I drive up that rocky road, I'll get the shiver up my spine that I haven't felt in years. THAT will be a moment I've been wanting to have for a long time.